!1gIiSunday.

Morning

I went to eat breakfast at Fremont with a couple of my cousins and nieces. We talked about family and out futures because I'm moving and my other cousin is engaged. But f'reals though, I had to leave the house by 0920... I wanted more sleep. We got a lot out during those few hours, not everything, but it's a start. After breakfast I went home and talked to my sister. We talked about getting a couple piercings before Thanksgiving. We decided, she is getting a lip and I am going to get my conch. After looking through the internet for pictures and info, we both decided to take naps.

Afternoon

I wake up finding myself texting a couple of friends. I realized that I only have four more weeks here... I messaged one of my friends about how so much is going on in my life (yeah... I know people out there have it worse; however, this is my life!) with finals coming up, a ticket I have to deal with, leaving my friends and family. I was just starting to get closer with everyone again. I spent months avoiding my immediates and relatives because they're family... It's just that I am going to have unfinished shit after I leave. What the fuck am I going to do? Then I text another friend about her friend that I'm talking to. She told me that her friend really digs me and that it's sad having the thought of me leaving so soon. Breakdown #1&2. I start bawling, in my room, by myself. Till I hear my sister is awake across the hall. I knock on her door sobbing and she opens up and I grab her and I start crying on her. I told her about all this shit in my head and she said that, "...it'll be okay..." My sister. She is here for me. Then after a few minutes I go back to my room and just relax for a good few hours.

Night

I call my auntie to know if I was able to go to her place to look over my paper work for my health forms that I need to fax to the university. She told me that it was fine and that I should be at her place after I get ready. I drive to her place and we look over my papers and I ask her about how she felt when my cousin left for school. She told me that she couldn't sleep at night, she called her every night, et cetera. Then the conversation changed. Really. She started talking about family... All these skeletons in the closet start crawling out. Skipping to the important stuff... My parents. Breakdown #3. My auntie told me how my dad has cancer. Cancer? No he doesn't... Oh shit. She also told me about how my mom's something to the heart isn't that clear and that she takes medication so that she won't get a heart attack... All this shit made me start bawling again, this time, on her. We talk about how my family has bad communication also, which brings me to my next point. But, I'm not there just yet! I go back home finding my sister on the couch downstairs. I tell her everything that's going on. She was as shocked as I was finding out about my dad's situation and my mom's. I told her, "Manang, you need to go out with them, check up on them, have fun with them." I really want my family to be on better terms since I am leaving. (Fuck I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep :(. I have class in like 5 hours.) Okay, NEXT POINT. Edit* just an FYI I personally believe that my family has lost its connection, we don't really talk to each other...

1in the Morning

At this time, I am talking to the person I like. I can't sleep and I hear that my mom is still downstairs from work. I walk down and start a conversation with her. I talked about how my day went with all this unstable emotion and how everything I talked about with my cousins, sister and aunt affects me so much that my eyes start bleeding out this clear liquid. The only thing my mom says during my selective listening was, "...so your sister feels bad?" We add on here and there to the conversation but (Breakdown #5) I end up sitting on my mom's lap like I did when I was younger, hugging her and cry again!

(Gah, I might want to edit this when I have time. This hella does not make any sense at all. I have two classes today, then work till close! Then, chill? Fawk that, I want sleep)< J3

*edit, I don't wanna edit anymore. i'm hella nabanoog.